i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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