Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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