he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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