We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
