When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
