Capitaan dildo arrescate!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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