Why are handjobs necessary in class?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
