would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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