with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize