i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do vagina's smell?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
