During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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