i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
