There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
