i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
