I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
