he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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