This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
