Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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