I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
