So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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