Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
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For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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