I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
