what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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