two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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