google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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