Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she told me i tasted like america
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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