I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
