i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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