That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize