I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
