ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just google imaged poop.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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