This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
