we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
All the doctor said was why
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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