There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
