last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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