That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
