I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My vagina just recognized that song.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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