i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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