She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
