And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
