Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
