normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
