I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
