I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
