so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
