I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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