I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
