No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
