I look better un-naked...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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