Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
