yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
