your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
