The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
