after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize