He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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