if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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