Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing

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  (563): I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing http://tfl.nu/bqtp
  Replies (7) Good night (1646) Bad night (658)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?

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  (843): did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity? http://tfl.nu/ve53
  Replies (21) Good night (2627) Bad night (927)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

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  (469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine... http://tfl.nu/msgo
  Replies (34) Good night (13174) Bad night (1115)
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  (310): View more from California

  something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up

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  (310): something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up http://tfl.nu/bg0v
  Replies (52) Good night (692) Bad night (5012)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia

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  (978): I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia http://tfl.nu/pfmm
  Replies (9) Good night (4749) Bad night (1015)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.

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  (610): You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift. http://tfl.nu/nll4
  Replies (8) Good night (4123) Bad night (1203)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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  (636): hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls? http://tfl.nu/dqbw
  Replies (17) Good night (5213) Bad night (1144)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class

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  (61): who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class http://tfl.nu/g4lj
  Replies (6) Good night (4576) Bad night (868)
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  (212): View more from New York

  it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating

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  (212): it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating http://tfl.nu/p848
  Replies (19) Good night (4444) Bad night (1091)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.

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  (910): Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood. http://tfl.nu/yy48
  Replies (4) Good night (732) Bad night (1666)
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  (510): View more from California

  in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.

  (925): View more from California

  he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!

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  (510): in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water. (925): he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy! http://tfl.nu/d51r
  Replies (5) Good night (1035) Bad night (1730)
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  (760): View more from California

  Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.

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  (760): Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t. http://tfl.nu/80lo
  Replies (5) Good night (984) Bad night (601)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.

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  (913): My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one. http://tfl.nu/ad80
  Replies (9) Good night (1240) Bad night (1088)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."

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  (252): I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE." http://tfl.nu/xtai
  Replies (2) Good night (1672) Bad night (465)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.

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  (919): No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions. http://tfl.nu/s4to
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (475)

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