No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
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My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
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I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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