I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
