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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.

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• (510): View more from California

  I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.

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• (661): View more from California

  I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

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• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close

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• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (972): View more from Texas

  The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.

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• (949): View more from California

  "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her

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