shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure