if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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