so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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