Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
