She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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