My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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