so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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