He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
